Ode to Q's Muchness

Alice in Wonderland - my kid LOVED it.

Just before going to sleep, in the dim glow of the nightlight, she defiantly asks,

"Lost my muchness, have I?"

I imagine her entering Slumberland with a firm grip on the hilt of the vorpal sword.

Ode to Q's Muchness

There is much of much inside you, Q.
My muchness has grown dim or few.
Yours is still there and might grow more
allowing you to truly soar.

I see it clear and bright and strong
A light that fills my heart with song.
Your muchness is what I adore.
You're my muchness and much more.

I hope you never lose its touch.
Q, promise you will keep your much.
I hope that this is what will be:
Your muchness fuels your destiny.

(Could you perhaps spare some for me?)

Computer Engineer Barbie

It's official. Barbie is giving the geek look a try! (complete with Bluetooth headset and nerdy/trendy glasses!)

“As a computer engineer, Barbie will show girls that women can turn their ideas into realities that have a direct and positive impact on people’s everyday lives in this exciting and rewarding career.”

"All the girls who imagine their futures through Barbie will learn that engineers — like girls — are free to explore infinite possibilities, limited only by their imagination,” says Nora Lin, President, Society of Women Engineers.

Hmmm...free to explore infinite possibilities. Yeah, like leaving computer work for a different career. Magic Cookie did it ("Having a job I care about is a good thing."). How's THAT for an imagination?

Barbie doesn't make it look all that great, anyway. Just further confirmation that there's no dressing this up. You can even stamp a Mattel label on rubberized computer work, but that doesn't make it any less geeky. Would Ken be interested in her now? I wonder.

I'm better than this (or should be)

I've been naughty and irresponsible. I anonymously posted something on a board somewhere and wow, was it vituperative. I guess that's what happens when you're bored and bitter at work.
Who knew I could get so worked up?

I went after these guys as if they'd spit in my kid's hair. And it's pure jealousy on my part. I admit it. I just wanted to take them down a peg or two.

So this is how my day has gone (drafting catty comments) and where my passions led me. Which is all fine and dandy until my husband or my kid or my mom asks, "How was work today?" and all I can remember is how I went off on somebody on some internet board and how fun it was and how guilty I feel about it now. And how desperate I am to read any follow-up comments! Bring it, baby. I'm ready to rumble, apparently.

My day? Oh. Yeah. It was fine.

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Oh nevermind. The snide comments will be deleted by the board's admin before anyone sees them, I'm sure. Which is fine. I really AM better than that.

Another One Bites the Dust

And another one's gone...Magic Cookie took me off her blog list. Sniff. Well, I was honored to be on there at any point, so thanks CM for helping me get started and putting me on there for a while. I can't really complain about getting the boot. I've essentially been offline for months, and I've abandoned the lawyer-esque musings that I once posted here. Not that I don't think about it still, but the reality is so distant from the wanting that it's self-defeating for me to continue to ruminate in that manner. This space has morphed into a mommy-blog by this point, because parenting issues are still very meaningful to my day-to-day reality and because they're pretty safe to blog about publicly. I don't want to write a mommy-blog, really, but I also don't want to overshare (gasp! gawd forbid!) all my angst and marital stuff and job stuff, etc.

OK, I really DO want to overshare, but I'm getting smarter about suppressing that desire.

Anyhoo... (and yes, I like spelling it that way...anywho? why would you use "anywho"?...seriously, the point of "anyhoo" is that you are making up a silly phonetic representation of anyway/anyhow/nevertheless/moving on/so-as-I-was-about-to-say, etc. It is NOT anywho.)

This underscores a truth about blogging: you get out of it what you put into it. I like that about blogging. It's a meritocracy.

But I am sad to be dumped by CM. She started this blog, really. I am indebted to her. Her kindness and openness and willingness to mentor and answer questions made a big impression on me. I wouldn't be here without her. She's amazing. As you will discover if you read her.

Home Alone and Broken

This three-day-weekend, our little threesome had intentions of being out of town. Moments before we hit the highway, it became apparent that I had some work I could not put off another day. I told Leo I needed to stay home to get my work done, and now here I am. I am home alone, trying to get my work done, while Leo and Q are several hours away by car, enjoying a Daddy-Daughter weekend.

I feel like I'm doing an all-nighter to finish a paper, a common scenario for me during my academic career. If I finish soon, I can get in my car and meet up with them, as inefficent as that seems. They're at a new hotel and have already called to tell me all about it and yes, I suffered stabs of jealousy and self-pity as I listened to Q gush about their room.

My work is boring. My work pays our mortgage, our car loans, the electric bill, etc. I am both grateful and frustrated that I have this job. I am bored out of my mind. In fact, I am broken. I do not work. I do not work right, not the way I used to. But work I must. What a whiney-heiney I am!

Honk If You Can Read This

.

This helped improve my attitude today:

AFI's 100 Years, 100 Movie Quotes (Musical Montage)


On the other side of things, I checked my kid's email account, something I rarely do. In fact, it's been over two months since I last checked it. It's been even longer since Q has used the account. Anyway, there was an unread message from early December that is troubling me. Her friend sent her an email asking Q if Q was mad at the friend. Then the friend said that if she didn't recieve a reply from Q by the end of the month, that she had five words for Q, and here are their initials: Y A W T J.

The friend finished off the note with "p.s. bye dead girl".

WTH?

The space above will reveal today's bad news, if you highlight it.

Have a Heart, Teach

A 9-year-old kid (not mine) raised her hand in class one morning and said, "Mrs. Smith, I need to go to the clinic. I'm sick."

Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot and watery. She couldn't breathe through her nose. Her face was flushed a dark pink. The kid looked sick.

"Suck it up," responded the teacher.

The little girl had to wait until lunch time, when the class was in the cafeteria and she had access to other school personnel, to ask to go to the clinic. The teacher on duty in the cafeteria took one look at her and immediately excused her to go to the clinic. At the clinic, they determined she was ill. Her mother was called and the girl was sent home sick for the day.

The point: What's up with this teacher? Who says "suck it up" to a kid in fourth grade, especially one who's clearly under the weather? I mean, at least say something like "Try to hang in there, okay?".

What's with the tough talk? The teacher needs to take an empathy pill and drop the militant tough-guy approach. This is fourth grade, not boot camp.

Or am I just too soft-hearted?