Sunday, November 23, 2008

Hangin' with the In crowd

This is for the mommies out there. And the nerds. Those nerds who managed to procreate. I'm one of ya'll, so I know what I'm talking about.

Anyone who is a mommy knows what it's like to be a girl. Even
the pregnant man. Girls are often not nice - not to each other, anyway. Do you know what happens after these girls grow up, after 20 years have passed by? They are still girls, often not nice to each other, only now they're in their 30's and chaperoning field trips.

Friday night I slept on the floor in a public building. My daughter's Brownie Troop was locked in for the night. There were about 10 girls and 6 adult-girls (aka mommies) from our troop, plus an additional twenty-seven bodies from two other unrelated and unknown Brownie Troops. We were all stretched out on sleeping bags, some nestled atop queen-sized air mattresses, others with nothing to soften the crunching of bone-on-stone full-body contact.

Did you know little girls snore?

This was my first field trip with this group. I really like the leader of this troop and feel lucky that we were invited to join. Many of you have yet to experience the problem of finding the right group for your child to join. It can produce a lot of problems in a lot of ways if you end up in a group that's not a good fit. But heckuva lot of good material for posting! Oh, the drama. Oh, the angst. And the one-liners as you turn on your heel and walk away. Not that...ahem...I've ever had to do that...

You know why I like this leader? Because SHE DOES NOT YELL. I, on the otherhand, yell quite often. Just in case you couldn't figure that out for yourself. Yep, I'm a yeller. Although I've made great progress (huge!) in curbing that inclination. But being around other yellers does not help me or help the situation. Being around quiet people who know how to keep control of a bunch of 8-year-old girls without using a coach's whistle: priceless.

This trip included the 2 leaders, both of whom I like and both of whom are quiet and probably not so high on the "cool" scale or on the "in crowd" list, then there's me (ditto except for the quiet part), and then three other mommies. Not ditto for them. Their "cool" rating might be mid-range, their "in crowd" rating also somewhere around a 7 or 8 out of 10. Yeah, yeah it all depends on who and where...context is everything...they may have been total losers at YOUR school. Exactly my point: out of the 6 adults that were part of this group at this event, these three mommies were the cool "in" crowd. First, because they were already friends. That's the biggest factor. Second, because they are all fairly hip and very tongue-in-cheek about everything. You know where that left me? Dependent upon their generosity of spirit. The two leaders automatically fell into the leader category together and worked as a team, the three friends had their little clique, and then there was me. This is a situation I find myself in over and over again. I guess that means I never get my friends to join the same groups with me. I'm really going to work on that.

The event was uneventful as far as interpersonal drama goes. Which is a big stinking victory. The girls all had a good time. Nobody cried (scouts or parents). Nobody tossed out any zingers. The "in" crowd was gracious enough, not too many inside jokes or overly obvious whispering, etc. (Yes, such behavior is not uncommon on trips like this, especially when everyone is sleep-deprived.) My favorite leader's feelings were hurt, I think, when the cool mommies played with their phones, updating their facebook pages, during the lecture part. As we were getting ready to pull out of the parking lot the next day, the leader made a point of thanking me for coming, saying that she thought I was the only one who enjoyed that part. But of course I enjoyed the lecture/learning part! I'm a nerd! I'm still reviewing the facts the guy went over so they'll stay in long-term memory. I want to know those nerdy little facts. It's cool to know them.

Unless you're a cool "in" crowd mommy. Then, not so much.

1 comment:

gudnuff said...

Color me surprised a tad bit that no one chimed in with an "Amen sistah!" about how mean girls are still mean girls 20 years later...