Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Doctor's Children

That's my oldest brother with the stethoscope, checking out my my other brother. I wasn't born yet.

I had forgotten this picture. It's hanging in the hallway at my eldest brother's house. I happened to be over there on Sunday and snapped a picture of it with my phone. You can see me taking a picture of the picture.

My father was a physician. He first went to dental school, graduated, then went to medical school. My mother was a Registered Nurse, which "in those days" as she likes to point out, often, "that required a four-year degree." Not one of my parents' three children grew up to be doctors. Or lawyers. Or stock brokers, accountants, professors (ahem) or dentists. Or any other well-known white-collar category. All three of us are in the IT field in one way or another. Well, both brothers are business owners, with varying success. I'm sure I don't give either of them the credit they deserve.

I struggle sometimes, with who Q is, with what Q is capable of, compared to what I project onto her, what I think she is capable of, what I think she should be capable of, who I think she should be or could be or might be. Like, I think she might be a smaller version of my mother-in-law, sometimes. I see parts of myself in there, too. And her patience...that's Leo, for sure.

What were my parents thinking of their eldest when they took this picture? And how does it feel now, at 75 years of age, with that little guy nowadays pushing 50 years of age, to reconcile today's reality with yesteryear's unknown potential?

They would say, we are happy, we are healthy, we have our own families now, that's all they ever wanted for us. I'm not sure I believe them. But I understand. I look at Q, and I love her, and I accept her (most days).

Somebody recently said, kids (families, in fact) are a crap shoot. That is so true.


CatrinkaS said...

I am flattered. I hope it was me, who said it. The crap shoot part.

We can't know who they will be - we can only watch who they are. And prod. And hope to not do too much damage the short while they are ours.

The truth is, we can't know. The other truth is, there are so many ways to do all of this, that as long as we are doing the best we can - boosting them, directing them, growing them (like you grow a plant...) and getting out of the way when we see the opportunity... We're fine.

I have never thought, in prayer, we should ask for specifics. I have always believed the best prayer is for strength, for peace. I think the same thing with kids. If we project too much into what they should be, or what they could be, we will be - on some level - disappointed.

Hyphen Mama said...

I'm almost positive Wynnie will be a stripper or pole dancer and Mack will be a valet parking guy. Or that's the direction they are leaning currently.

gudnuff said...

CatrinkaS - yes, 'twas you. Thanks for your support on this issue.

Seeing that picture on Sunday triggered something for me. Made me realize, wow, no wonder I'm constantly striving for more for myself, for my perspective shifted in an instant, twisted inside-out and I realized,
well, waddya know, I'm on both sides of this issue, of course...duh! And I'm not the only one: my parents had THREE of us to plant, to see how we'd blossom...interesting to ponder what their hopes and dreams for us were. That picture is the closest that particular kid ever came to following in his father's footsteps. How funny. What a freakin' crap shoot. Maybe they should have had seven or eight kids. Maybe their doctor-child just never was born.

Hyphen Mama - So how does a three or four year old indicate a proclivity for valet parking? I'm dying to know!

Hyphen Mama said...

He has 30 or 40 vehicles (trucks, cars, trains, etc) that he "parks" precisely in a perfectly straight line, each equidistant from each other, often times in order of size. It doesn't matter where we are... at the neighbor's house with her son's cars, in my grandparents' driveway 400 miles away...always the same.

blognut said...

No way am I not coming over to this post and telling you that the picture is awesome before I go over and comment on the newer post.

The picture is very cool - and very cute.

Butterflyfish said...

:-) cute

Cat said...

I agree with the crapshoot families part - and great photo!

Christie-A Work In Progress said...

How cute is that!!!