Monday, December 22, 2008

somebody slap me

I can't wait for some of you law students to graduate and get into the work world and blog about life as a working attorney. Is it the same? Is it worse? Seems like most of the complaints are about too much work. Too much stress. Sounds similar to what life was like as a consultant. It was hard on my marriage. But I miss the intensity. And I miss working as part of a team. Now I have this overpaid, soft, secure, cushy job that feels like a slow death. Wah-wah-wah. Cry me a river, already.

Is it really bad when you keep muttering "I'll see you in h*** first" under your breath? Other favorites: "F*** you" and "Go to h***".

Where is this so-called Christmas Spirit?

Why does it elude me?

I am dying a slow death at work. That is what this is about. I am bored. I am lazy. I am unmotivated and unfocused. People notice, and I curse at them under my breath. This feels surreal. How can this continue?

I know I am lucky to even have a job. I know I am acting like a spoiled brat. There is so much to be thankful for! But deep down, I feel contemptuous towards my coworkers. I do not really feel much sympathy for our primary purpose as an organization. I don't like this, I don't like that, I think everybody's an idiot or misguided or pathetic or short-sighted. And most of them seem to think and feel the same way about the rest of us. It's like a virus in this place. We are all contemptous of each other. We are all just hanging on until retirement.

It truly feels like I'm watching a horror-movie in slow-motion, except everyday I have to wake up and get to my desk and play my part in it. I'm inside the horror movie, and it's still in slow motion.

What do burnt-out people do (besides blog about it)? Any advice out there?

You know what I think will help? To-do lists. Literally put down at least 2 or 3 things each day that I want to accomplish, and get them done, then go home. Ta da! Maybe that will stop my bad dreams at night.

5 comments:

gudnuff said...

One good thing I did today already: I checked on the phone system logging thing and saw that it needed to be restarted, so I restarted it, and then ran a report to see how much data was not captured, and it looks like we've not lost any calls, so I'm all happy about that. So I did a little something today.

So part of the answer is to document your successes, no matter how small. Even if it's just for yourself. Because if they're super small and almost silly to brag about, then all you're really doing is advertising how little you do, so maybe keep the small ones to yourself. But still, write them down. Don't forget you did a good, relevant work-related thing (as opposed to blog-related).

CM said...

I can relate (or at least I could, in my previous life).

My solution was to think about what would make me happy, and I spent quite a while trying to fix my career before deciding to change it.

By the way, the new template doesn't work in Firefox. The text goes all the way out to the edges of the page and is gray on gray, nearly impossible to read. (Luckily I use an RSS reader.)

Wait a month and I'll tell you what it's like on the other side. I know you read Lag Liv -- she writes about this all the time.

Cee said...

For some people, their jobs define them (even if it shouldn't) so it's no wonder that a miserable (albeit stable) job can make you miserable. i mean you do it EVERY DAY. over and over. For me bad work becomes better when I step back and see the big picture- focus on the things your job provides for you and maybe how your job affects the people you help. Not sure if that helps :) I want to be a student forever...

Hyphen Mama said...

I think the strategy you're taking is a good one...focus on the accomplishments. Back in the day when I worked for a paycheck, I wanted to strangle people. So if you aren't in the mood to switch jobs, then focus on the GOOD part.

gudnuff said...

CM - thanks for relating. I am SO EXCITED to hear about your new office life. I've been waiting for that, you know. It will inform my choices (no pressure!). Sorry about the template-Firefox clash. I forgot to change the basic template to Minima first...it looked like that on mine too (MS IE) until I changed the basic template to Minima. A refresh didn't help? That stinks.

Cee - absolutely! student life rocks. Except for the lack of facilities/resources, like a nice quiet, private office, plenty of paper and printers that you don't have to feed coinage to operate, your own phone and phone number, a company-provided computer, paid-for ISP at home, an extra laptop for travelling...like I said: somebody slap me...what is so bad?

Hyphen Mama - mood to switch? Always! My little dose of ADD makes switching to a new job one of my favorie pasttimes (it's shocking that I've been at this one job for over 5 years). It's the $100K in debt that stops me cold. (That, plus an unemployed hubby.) Didn't the debt scare you?