Sunday, January 25, 2009

Freakily Fighting Hollywood

No wonder I don't go to movies anymore.

Yes, I understand the concept of willing suspension of disbelief. I'm just not good at it.

I just saw Hotel for Dogs with my 8-year-old daughter. We enjoyed it, in as far as not walking out nor wanting our money back. But it scared me, from a mother's perspective. Yes, hooray for the kids sticking together, standing firm against opposition, following through on what they believed in. But how to explain to my kid that she is not allowed to ever do about 80% of the things those kids did? I started to explain what breaking and entering was, but got as far as, "That's against the law. The police could arrest them for that. Don't go into buildings without permission."

I felt old, like somebody's mother. What a surprise.

I always take movies and their relationship to reality way too seriously. You should have heard me on the way home after seeing The Matrix. My rantings after that film got me banned for life from my husband's Movie-Buddy list. So I caught myself this time. I sorta slumped down in my seat and tried to be cool about the whole thing. Let her figure it out for herself. Let the police call me five years from now. She can tell me from jail how she saw this movie when she was eight and was sure that prancing around abandoned buildings was no big deal.

Then I started wondering, just how many crimes DID those kids commit?

If there is anyone who falls into the Bermuda Triangle of (1) reading this blog (2) having viewed Hotel for Dogs and (3) knowing something about criminal law, I welcome and encourage you to cite the various crimes committed by the kids in this film. A prize to anyone who sums up the total number of years behind bars if convicted that any one of them would have earned.


LL said...

hahahaha. I haven't seen that movie (or almost any movie since Landon was born), I do frequently legally dissect them much to the chagrin of my fellow movie watchers. Law school sucked the fun out of so many things ;)

Cee said...

lol- i want to see the movie now just to take on your challenge and count the crimes! I usually get too lost in movies that I forget they aren't real until the credits roll at the end- i'm like "oh yeah, it was just a movie. the giant human eating slugs aren't real."

but i hate corny kids movies (spy kids- ugh)- i dread having to watch them with jacob.

gudnuff said...

LL - anytime you want to share a legal break-down of a hollywood plot, please do so! I know you watch a movie here and there...your comments about "Love Actually" over Christmas break made me go on a mad quest to get my hands on a copy.

Cee - omg, I'm jealous...the closest I came to that (which is strange) was with I Am Legend...maybe it has to be in the future for me to get lost in it...

newduck said...

I read the blog and I know criminal law, but I'm afraid I haven't seen the movie. If you really want to be technical about it, the total number of time spent behind bars would depend on the laws of the state in which you broke the laws. I now feel extremely scientific for having said that, and also pretty nerdy. But anyway. If I get a chance to see the movie, I will attempt to break it down for you. But seeing as how I haven't been to a movie since the baby was born, you could be in for a long wait.

gudnuff said...

New Duck - I would owe you two hours of your life back if, of all movies to watch in your precious post-baby time crunch, you wasted two hours on Hotel for Dogs.

Hyphen Mama said...

I have NO concept of willing suspension of disbelief!!! My husband and I watch *Little* Einsteins* on the *Disney channel and talk through the whole show about how stupid it is that 1) these LITTLE kids never ask their parents if they can leave on a trip to Saturn 2) they can make it to Saturn in 16 seconds in their rocket, but fear that they'll never be able to outrun an alligator because their rocket can't go fast enough.

Note to self: willing suspension of disbelief. a GOOD thing when you're watching shows with your kids.

gudnuff said...

LOL! This cracked me up, Hyphen Mama. And you are so right, on all counts: who do those kids think they are, darting all over and yet not able to outrun an alligator, all without permission or supervision? and that disbelief thing...gotta work on it, too. You cracked me up. :o)