Tuesday, February 3, 2009

This one's for the MILP's or MILP wannabe's

I went to the local law school's orientation session last fall (and started my blog shortly after that). They put on a class demonstration, a very gentle run-through of the Socratic method, a moot court demo (or trial court demo...are they the same thing?) and ended with a question-and-answer session with some professors and 3L's telling us to remember to take showers and write down your reasons for applying to you can remember why you're putting yourself through all this.

There was one professor who had an impeccable paper pedigree, very prestigious and intimidating. And he was really young, from my point of view. This guy loved to start every sentence with, "So...". He struck me as incredibly pretentious. It went like this:

Potential Applicant: "How would you say law school is different from undergrad?"

Pretentious Pedigreed Genius: "So...it's a process of infantilization, right? So, you have people telling you where you need to be and what you need to be doing and there's very little unstructured time afforded you while you're here."

Ugh. If I want pretentious and pedantic, I'll hang out - gawd love 'im - with my husband.

And then I thought, wtf? "Infantilization"?!! That's a six syllable word that he chose to whip out during orientation, where he's supposed to care about wooing us. Are you kidding me? So what is he like when he's NOT wooing us? omg...This guy is not living in the real world!

Now, my conclusion is correct of course, and most of you know this, because if he were living in the real world and not in some made-up, cloistered, Latin-centric La-La Land of Concentrated Brilliance, he would know that the last thing on this earth that is structured, that accepts being told where it needs to be or what it needs to do, is a freakin' INFANT. He has no clue. And so his fancy-pants use of a six syllable word backfired completely; it showed not that he was brilliant but quite the opposite: that he has not experienced the mind-churning challenge of caring for an infant and lived to tell about it. He knows nothing of life. He knows words. Kinda.

And so I dedicate this post to all of you struggling with this kind of over-the-top bs as you travel slowly but steadily through each case, each paper, each brief or motion, and each lecture. In particular, I'm thinking of A Woman In Law School's post from yesterday. The professor who loves to hear himself talk. And keeps the class late. That is just not right. Is he indefatigable or something? (had to throw MY favorite six syllable word out there)

Truth be told, even while I ranted silently to myself about his pretentiousness, something of his style permeated my brain. Now I hear myself doing it! Somebody called me the other day asking why the spam filter was blocking one kind of email but not another, and yes, this is what I heard myself saying:

Me: "Soooo...you know it's an automatically-generated message, right? That it doesn't use the same form as a regular message? Soooo...the message format is unique; it's missing required information in the From: line, soooo...the filter thinks it's spam and blocked it."

I should have said, "...ergo the filter thinks it's spam..." geesh.

Yeah, that lady isn't going to call me back any time soon.

And you are surprised that the first 9.6 seconds of THIS* is part of my morning ritual?

(yes, Cee beat me to posting this. Everybody's faster than me. And everybody's seen this by now - over a million hits on youtube already. But I just had to put it in here for posterity.)

Oh people, I figured out how to separate out the first 9 seconds of just the lady screaming and re-post it to youtube, but then realized, if I ever do apply to law school, or more importantly, submit a bar application, a charge of copyright infringement on my record would be a baaaaaaaaaaaad thing. Rats.


Googie Baba said...

Sooo, that was pretty funny. Pretentious law professors are just the beginning of the fun that you will experience in law school.

As an aside, I think writing down your reasons for wanting to go to law school is a good idea. Ask Virgin to the Volcano, she pretty much talked me off a ledge this morning.

gudnuff said...

Oh c'mon...no details? Sounds like a post is brewing...maybe?

Cee said...

you think the profs are bad? wait until you meet the students!!!! my post from today will shock you!!! very good point about infants though! I laughed at that one :)

Patois said...

Can I admit that I loved your post but HATE that commercial?

gudnuff said...

Cee - I admit that wrote it especially with you in mind. And if you're talking about the shirt-whipping-off peer, I would have loved that. I think that's awesome that he did that. Stupid, but awesome.

Patois - I gotta admit I love it, for obvious reasons. Seeing anything 50-gazillion times over and over again puts a dent in my pleasure, but I don't hold that against the commercial. Are you just sick of seeing it already, or did you hate it straight out of the gate?

PT-LawMom said...

Bwahaha. Sounds like you reused the line pretty well. And I agree with Cee - the students will have your jaw on the table with some of the things that come out of their mouths, especially about "hot button" topics. Ugh.

Hyphen Mama said...

If my brother were a law professor, I would have sworn you were talking about him. Very long words, used out of context, then if you don't understand the backwards-super-negative-double-talk you're just infantile.

SOOOOOOOO...Now I have to check out the commercial.

Shelley said...

Law school is chock-a-block full of ironic idiocy. Usually there are enough normal people around to laugh at them with, though!

teasinglydiverse said...

Oh, this cracked me up!! :)

and NO WAY!! right back at ya! I was in Tours last Jan. and it was great. I know it's pretty well respected in France, but I was surprised by how many people were googling it...maybe it's more popular in the english speaking world than I thought?