Friday, February 6, 2009

False Bravado

Dr.Cox: I love this moment so much, i want to have sex with it -

later in the same episode: This moment is so great, I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny little moments

Sorry if my last post offended anyone. Guess I took the metaphor too far. This is really just a case of false bravado. I'm much too insecure to pull off this kind of attitude in real life. You'll see that's true if you take a minute to read a prior post I wrote called "I Am So Hawt". You'll see that I don't even have the nerve to comfortably mingle at a charity's open house event. I'm even less comfortable with casual flirting or checking people out on the street.

I got the idea for the earlier post from an episode of Scrubs I saw a long time ago, where Dr. Cox says, "I am loving this moment. I love this moment so much, I want to marry it. Then this moment and I can have a bunch of little moment children together." ...or something kinda like that. [found the quote, see above...anybody out there know what episode it's from?] I found the metaphor amusing (when Scrubs did it, I about died laughing, but my attempt?...not so much) - if it even is a metaphor, which I'm not 100% certain is the correct term for this type of narrative device. Hence my suggestion that the whole thing is derivative...I really think I got the "joke" from somewhere else.

Obviously, there was a day or two this past week when the thought of getting pregnant again and having another child really did seem like something worth considering seriously. For about a moment. I flirted with the idea. I talked to my husband about it. He is in the middle of some life changing choices himself right now, so besides my age being a negative factor, so is my husband's situation. Anyway, it all crowded together to create the perfect storm of adjectives. So how do you address a midlife crisis, other than to toss aside a perfectly valid career to go to law school? Well, you can always try to have another baby. But after briefly flirting with this unattractive idea (unattractive for me, at my age, in my current circumstances), I quickly dumped it. STOP right there: "flirting", "dumped", "unattractive" was hard to resist pursuing the whole concept of attraction and the decsion to act based on attraction.

But no, I make it sound like I know a lot more about this stuff (threesomes, for example...caveat lector!) than I really do. I've allowed myself to succumb to certain influences that I've stumbled upon out here in cyberspace, influences that I've found to be quite infectious in their fun, light-hearted yet audacious approach to just about any issue. Exposure to such influences makes it all too easy to adopt a breezy confidence that I only wish I had in real life.

Now let me speak plainly: I am a big fan of those influences. They cheer me up. They make me laugh. I like them. But as for me, I can only exude such chutzpa through the written word. I am barely able to flirt in public with my even though I can talk such talk in the blogosphere, there's no way I could walk the walk (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) in reality.

Bottom line and closing argument: It's all Trannyhead's fault. Well, Tranny and Scrubs.


Hyphen Mama said...

Please tell me this isn't really an apology for your last post, because I thought your last post was genius! The fun, flirty innuendo was very well written--intelligent words, juxtaposition of ideas. I loved it.

I tease constantly on my blog that I'm getting a boyfriend. I even laugh to my girlfriends that I'm getting a boyfriend. I'm SO NOT getting a boyfriend. I'm inlove with my husband and he's the only boyfriend I need. But sometimes it's fun to make up funny stories.

It's your blog. Do what you want. No apologies!!

gudnuff said...

I know, I know. A moment of weakness, very un-Tranny of me. Kinda thinking I might delete/hide the whole post. Anybody else out there given to un-publishing a post here and there? I'm talking about this one, not the prior one.

Butterflyfish said...

I loved the prior post!

Hyphen Mama said...

Yes, I've deleted posts a few weeks later when I realized that's not what I would want if/when somebody went into my archives, or if SOMEBODY in real life found me.