Wednesday, April 1, 2009

When Bad Smells Attack

Previously entitled: "Disney Does Not Smell Like Cat Pee"

This is a sister post, without her knowledge or consent, of Cee's post entitled "The Smell" that I dearly loved and often think about, for reasons that are obvious once you read what's below.

I haven't blogged for over a week. I have numerous posts I've started, but haven't had the time to finish, let alone edit. I've been reading all of your posts, though, and commenting as circumstancs allowed. But it's been weird, ever since my trip a couple of weeks ago to New Orleans, in fact. I don't like being away from blogging so much, and it probably shows. I might as well be wearing a "I'd rather be blogging" t-shirt!

And the truly sad part is that I'm pouting (quietly) about my bloggy-depravity, er, I mean deprivation, whilst in the middle of Disney.

It's spring break this week for us, along with millions of other folks in the USA. And yes, we're at Disney. Again. For the fifth, maybe sixth, maybe even the seventh time since Q was born.

AND, Disney smells. Or so I thought. Disney smells like cat pee. But of course, that's not true. Disney does not smell like cat pee. But do you know what DOES smell like cat pee? My suitcase. The one I took to New Orleans. The one into which I put a bunch of clean clothes for this week's trip to Disney. Those clean clothes went into the suitcase smelling like, well, clean clothes. They came out of the suitcase smelling like cat pee.

Why? Because when I got back from New Orleans, I left my suitcase open on the floor of my bedroom for days and days, maybe for over a week, probably. Guess who thought my suitcase was a fun place to visit? Maybe even a place to relieve herself? Yeah, one of our two cats. I think it was Nibbles, which especially irks me 'cause she's my favorite and I don't like being mad at her. Stupid cat. Stupid me for leaving the suitcase out and open and available. Argh.

So the night we arrived, I discover where the funny smell is coming from. I sort out my clothes and realize I'm gonna have to wash whatever has gotten the pee on it. The next day, I wear a shirt that doesn't match anything, but I think is fairly safe. I was wrong. Everywhere I went, I kept catching a slight whiff of cat pee. And had to switch from automatically thinking, "Man, Disney has really gone downhill. It doesn't even smell clean. Ugh!" to "Oh yeah. That's me. How nice. It's nice to know I'm the kind of person who shouldn't be allowed in the park with all the clean people."

That night, I washed everything I brought. Yep, doing laundry at Disney. Funny how that makes a vacation feel kinda less vacation-y. My husband was highly amused and felt very vindicated. I got several versions of "Maybe now you won't wait so long to unpack" from him, all delivered with sublime satisfaction and whatever that German word is for enjoying other people's misfortune. ["Schadenfreude"]

And I kept hearing my mother's voice from my youth, "Gudnuff, when are you going to learn to take care of your things??!?!!!?!"

Well, now we have the answer. We finally know it's March of 2009, dear mother. I will learn the necessity of getting my suitcase unpacked and put away in March of 2009.

Not this particular suitcase, though. Not from this trip. This suitcase is headed for a trashcan. Disney does not have trashcans large enough for a medium-sized suitcase, though. So, Hyphen-Mama, how does one recycle a smelly suitcase?


A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

That's a bad break, man. My cat is a Katrina kitten refugee and she has a major tinkling problem.

The good news, for you and for me, is that I stormed the Oreck store for their alleged odor-be-gone elixir . . . and it seemed to work.

The bad news is . . . luggage is so damn expensive. Was the tinkle damage extensive?

Mama Dawg said...

Just tell the front desk. They'll have it removed for you. The suitcase, I mean. Not the cat pee.

I'm still in Disney love. We're going in June. Can't wait.

Oh, and I hear you on taking care of your stuff lest you get cat pee on it. I have two cats and one is getting so old, he's having problems getting to the litter box.

Or, if they're especially pissed at me (pun intended), they get even by peeing on clothes left on the floor.

I've gone to work accidentally in something that had a small spot of cat pee on it. I smelled it EVERYWHERE I went and could never figure out it was me until almost the end of the day. Gah.

dgm said...

Nibbles did it. She's your favorite, and you are hers, and you pissed her off when you abandoned her.

So far none of our cats have been vindictive pissers, knock wood!

Trannyhead said...

It probably wasn't your shirt and was probably the fat guy from Ohio with a mullet and kids with rat tails ...

Hyphen Mama said...

I'm laughing so hard my belly rolls are jiggling! Okay that's doesn't mean much, but I'm laughing SO HARD! I'm not sure which is funnier: that I would have done the exact same thing and left my suitcase out, just to have one of my 2 cats pee in it (mine pee in the piles of dirty laundry on the basement floor if they are left for more than 23.5 hours... like they have an internal CLOCK????) or the part about your mother!! Holy crap. Because that really could be MY MOTHER, Gawd love her.

I'd forget recycling that sucker and buy a new one at Disney (although you're probably already home now). Does Disney have a SuperWalMart? =)

On another note...I have to tell you that the comment you left me this morning has kept me going all day. I don't know if you meant it all or not, and I don't want to know if you didn't... I'm printing out that comment and pasting it to my bathroom mirror. The beauty of it is that you'll be able to see if from my kitchen too, straight up into that mother truckin' bathroom!

Hyphen Mama said...

Okay, I had to come back and tell another story. Mr Hyphen was at work and he kept smelling something that smelled like poop. He thought the guy he was working with was a disgusting pig and maybe floating some air biscuits or something. ALL DAY LONG this goes on and it gets worse as the day gets warmer. Then he heads to the bathroom and realizes that the smell is still there, but he's alone. He realizes it's HE WHO SMELLS. He took off the undershirt he was wearing and one of the cats must have dragged her butt across it, because it reeked of cat butt. He tossed it in the trash and went without an undershirt the rest of the day.

Funny how we're all so quick to accuse somebody else. I'm sure that other guy went home and griped about that STINKY GUY he had to work with all day.

K. I'm done laughing now. No really.

gudnuff said...

LawyerMom - Oh wow, thank you for the Oreck tip! And thanks for understanding that cats are like this. I've never had cats before. They are teaching me their mystical ways. I think my mother is sending them instructions.

MamaDawg - you are going to LOVE it. I sometimes remember what it's like when it's still new to you. It's freakin' fantastic.

dgm - You are lucky, but also, I suspect, you are not prone to having things lying around on the floor for them to, er, um "investigate" and mark at will. And yes, it's always your favorite...the one you least suspect. Still love her, though.

Tranny - Ha! I grew up with those sort. I thank the universe almost every day that I am no longer among them (except at Disney). Actually, I have a post about being around people from Ohio. Due out soon. At a computer near you.

Hyphen - I absolutely meant every word! I (along with many, many others) are incredibly impressed by you. You and your ginormous brain. As for the smell issue...I will probably always think it's me first, from now on. Oh, and OMG! how funny is this: "it gets worse as the day gets warmer" LOL!!!! OMG that's awesome! Hahahahahaha!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi... just happen to cross your site...

Im planning to go to Tokyo or Hong Kong Disney this Christmas. Hoho and I found some stuffs from Hong Kong Disneyland here as well:

I will definitely take tones of photos there!!!